The World Blonde
This page contains ten of the best squeaky clean jokes about blondes
-- compiled from different countries after a thorough search of the World Wide Web.
(More than ten blonde jokes told at any one
time tend not to be funny anymore, don't you agree?)
Please note: No offence to any real blondes is intended -- after all this is only a fun page...
1 A blonde was relaxing on the beach when her cell phone rang. It was her mother.
"Wow, Mom!" she gushed in surprise. "How did you know I was here?"
2 Two blondes where shouting at each other from opposite banks of the river.
"Hey, how do I get to the other side?" asked the one.
"You ARE on the other side!" retorted the other.
3 Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
4 How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
Tell her a joke on Friday.
5 How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
Shine a light in her ear.
6 Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
Because it said "concentrate".
7 How did the blonde burn her ear?
The phone rang while she was ironing
8 A stewardess encountered a blonde sitting in the first class section with a business class ticket. She told her she would not be able to sit in that section and the blonde refused to move. She said, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and you can't make me move."
The stewardess went to the head steward who went to the lady and again asked her to move because she was sitting in the first class section and didn't belong there. Again the lady said, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and you can't make me move."
Finally, in exasperation they went to the pilot and explained the situation. He replied, "Oh, I can take care of that. My wife is a blonde."
He went back and whispered to the lady and she immediately got up and walked back to the business section. The others were curious as to why she responded so quickly for him and asked for an explanation.
The pilot said, "Oh, it was simple. I just told her that the first class section wasn't going to New York.
9 A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies: "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl: "Why don't you go home for the day . . . we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
The blonde very calmly states: "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual . . . "if you need anything, just let me know."
Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now . . . are you gonna be OK??"
"No . . ." exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that HER mom died too!!"
10 A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbour suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again.
The neighbour suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbour suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 5 cm taller than the black one.